Monthly Archives: May 2009

A Drastic Change

I don’t go out as much right now like I used to. I’m still trying to get used with my illness that is recurring. Getting my much needed rest and sleep is my top priority and so my only recreation for now is watching movies online. I have a penchant for anime, manga, and chick flicks. I especially love two sites right now where I get my daily dose of these which are crunchyroll and mysoju. Of course, I have to watch them during free time and not during the days I have work or else I’ll be dead meat! I miss shopping though. I miss going out. Hope, a good friend of mine, is studying for the bar right now so we can’t go out as much. Kiko ain’t no help either because he hates going out. I even have a complimentary movie ticket but I don’t know when I could find the time to go out and watch a movie on the big screen. But not to fret, I’m the kind of person who isn’t bored even if there’s a downpour outside (btw, I love the rain, and that’s a different story altogether) because I can find something to do even in the comforts of my own room. I love to chat, read, write and right now I’m watching countless of asian movies and dramas. I just finished watching Zettai Kareshi (Absolute Boyfriend) which is about an robot built for love. How cheesy can I get?! Well I’m all for cheese. It’s was based on an Japanese anime but the actors in this series are Korean. Will you love a robot like you would a real man?

I am stuck with the Korean version of Blondie’s Maria. I can’t stop the music in my head. It was from the OST of a Korean movie titled 200 Pounds Beauty which stars Kim Ah-Joong – a fat, ugly, ghost singer and sex phone operator who is in love with the producer for the singer she lends her voice to. The good thing about these asian movies and series are their ability to inject fun. The plot also unfolds well and sometimes very suprising. If it was a Filipino movie or telenovela, it’s non-stop crying and shouting, all drama and they’re too predictable.

I love the OST. Maria is addicting and I especially like how she pronounces “beautiful girl” in the other song from the movie with same title. If you want to watch them and listen to the songs just follow the youtube links below:

To watch the video streaming of the movie just click on the link below: 200 Pounds Beauty

Thank you Joel for allowing me to post my revision of your poem in my blog.

By the way, Joel Josol is one of the members of pinoypoets yahoo group. He posted several revisions of his poem in the pinoypoets mailing list. It reminded me of “A Passionate Patience” which is a collection of essays where renowned poets discuss how they create their poems. I had fun going through his revisions.

Here’s my own version of Echo…

as revised by Gisela, inspired by Joel Josol’s Echo

I remain seated.
The echo of your footsteps
is behind me.

The evening wind whispers
and hums in my ear.

A bucket of water is poured
over the flame that is still there.
I am left with the crackle of embers.

i’m very blessed

I can’t even count the reasons why I’m very blessed. I can mention a few.

  • I was in a car crash recently and I lived, we all lived. No one was hurt and we didn’t hurt anyone.
  • My family loves me even when they are a pain sometimes.
  • I have constant communication with most of my friends and of course I know those I barely talk to are with me in spirit. (I hope all of you are doing well.)
  • I have work and is doing well. (I just hope my QA scores will get better).
  • Lots of taho vendors pass by my street and in the corner there’s a barbeque stand, carinderias are everywhere, and there’s an array food peddled here as well.
  • I still have a roof over my head.
  • I believe I have a good life ahead.

But I go through what every one goes through, hurdles and bumps along the way. I learned my little nephew was in the hospital recently but they told me he’s fine now. It really is hard when someone in the family get sick. I had to be called rude and was called names by frustrated Americans who couldn’t pay their debts. This is part of the job but it gets to you sometimes, but all you can do is laugh it off and don’t mind it. I am unable to visit a friend who I planned and promised to visit several times.

And there are those rare times someone will say, “…Ayaw ko na. Every turn I see proof that you are unstable, needy, and creepy. Someone will take care of you, and I am not it. Lose my number, I mean it…” Mckee, believe me when I say I don’t need you. I’m not asking you to take care of me. I can take care of myself. I’m a grown woman. Should I ever need any comfort or anything my family and some of my good friends are there.

I want to literally burn all my memories of you but then I read on my diary something you told me, “I wouldn’t want to let you inside my wall because I fear that you might not like what you see. I don’t want to lose you,” I just can’t bring myself to do it.

You know what? I also don’t want you in my life. I can’t help it when every turn I’m reminded of you. It wasn’t my doing when suddenly I was in the same company and account as your sister, nor was it my doing when suddenly a friend of yours from work was my dormmate. Believe me when I say, I want to forget you and think you don’t exist.

But even if I’m hurting right now, I’d still like to let you know, I believe I’m very blessed.